I got lost in the Patagonian wilderness, and all I got was this lousy story.

Okay, here's the situation: I got lost on our South American vacation. Yes, that's right, lost. It all started out fairly innocuously. We made an early morning start for a hike in Parque Nacional Los Glaciares, near El Chalten. We were staying in a lovely little hosteria named El Pilar, and the weather was gloomy and overcast, but I was excited because our guide Pedro said it was a pretty straightforward hike, a few hills but mostly flat, through forests and rivers. It was lovely and pretty easy, which sounded great after a few of our tougher hikes. Little did I know it would end up being my toughest day.

After about 2 hours, we moved into a really open and windy area. The rain that had started falling basically turned into ice as it hit the freezing, driving wind. Said ice then began pelting me in the face, and eventually, the eyes. I mean really, what the hell was I doing outside in that kind of weather? Pedro and our fellow hikers were slightly ahead of us, so I told Martin I was going to turn around and they could meet me back at the hosteria, where I would do some yoga, take a hot shower, and sit in front of the roaring fireplace with a book and a hot chocolate.

After about 1.5 hours, I started to notice that things didn't look very familiar. I suddenly realized that not only had I not been paying much attention on the way out that morning, but I also didn't have a map with me. I had just assumed that we were on the only trail (and as it turned out, it WAS the only trail on the map), and I had been daydreaming about my hot shower and the warm, welcoming fire and hadn't noticed any signs. I figured I would turn around and find the last familiar spot, and then there would be a sign or some other obvious item telling me the way to the correct trail. Wrong. I ended up back at a small stream, where the trail split and I went down the wrong way, because I heard the river and thought that was where I should be. I also thought that if I got to the river, I would be able to walk along the shore back to our starting point. Also wrong! I wandered around for nearly 5 hours, looking for the right trail. There may have been some tears involved. There was definitely some bargaining with whatever god or gods or other ruling forces might be part of our universe. Don't worry, I didn't make any promises I couldn't keep.

I finally decided to go back to the most familiar spot and wait for Martin to find me. Luckily, he knows me pretty well and when he got back to the hosteria several hours later and realized I wasn't there, he did indeed set out to find me. In fact, our whole group and a gaucho from the ranch were out looking for me! It was all very dramatic, with a pretty boring ending. Martin and Sarah found me, gave me some chocolate, and led me back to the van. We got back to the hosteria and sat in front of the fireplace for at least an hour, sipping hot mate and assuring everyone that I was indeed fine. I ended up having to tell my story about 5 times, which of course made me feel ridiculous, because I had no one to blame but myself.

The weirdest part has how quickly everything returned to normal. I was really lost, especially when I wandered down by the river and lost the trailhead. I honestly thought I would have to spend the night out there, and I was totally unprepared for that. Next time, I am bringing everything I need with me for a night in the wilderness - including my husband!